Three Young Boys

At two in the morning the phone rang; it was the placement worker from Grandfather Homes for Children. “Can you take the placement of three boys ages 2, 3 and 4?” Bob and Cathy Parks had finished MAPP training and received their foster parent license just a few weeks earlier. They had prayed about their decision and looked forward to their first fostering experience. They had never planned on taking three children at once, could they do this? The placement worker continued “the two year old was found wandering around the street alone wearing only a diaper.  DSS was notified. When the social worker went out to the family home she discovered horrible living conditions with feces and garbage throughout the home. One light bulb worked and was moved from room to room for light. A babysitter was in the home asleep in the living area. DSS had a very difficult time awaking her. The two other boys were discovered roaming outside the home. The three children were completely unsupervised and in obvious danger. The birth parents could not be found or reached.  DSS has taken custody and they need a safe, nurturing place for these little ones.”

Bob and Cathy knew it would be difficult, but how could they not take these pitiful little boys. They said they would take the placement and do their best! The three scared boys showed up at the Parks home a few minutes later.

The boys, Evan, Frank and David had been severely neglected. They had limited social and language skills. They were fearful of all adults and were malnourished. The Park’s were very patient with the boys and tried to make them feel safe while meeting their basic needs.

Evan, who was four, was very emotional and seldom smiled. He never spoke. When told he had to go to time out he would stand and cry. He would eat his meals very fast and hoard food if given the opportunity. He felt it was his responsibility to care for the baby. He had no self esteem and no self confidence.

Frank, who was three was very angry and had a lot of impulsive and aggressive behavior issues. He would fight instead of talk to his brothers. If they took a toy away from him he would start hitting and kicking. He did not make friends easily due to his anger. He had tantrums frequently. He was scared of men and had very little trust in anyone. He did not get along well with others, especially with Evan. He had a difficult time going to sleep and a hard time staying asleep. When it came time to eat he would eat very slowly to make sure David and Evan had plenty of food to eat.

David was only two when he came to the Park’s foster home. He was developmentally delayed. He had trouble sleeping; he would wake up crying about every two hours and Bob would have to hold him to get him to go back to sleep. Bob frequently had to sleep in the recliner while holding David.

The next few months were very challenging as the boys tried to adapt to a normal routine and a family environment.  There were many times that the Parker’s were unsure they could continue to handle all 3 boys, but with extra help and their perseverance, the Parker’s always made it through. 

They worked with DSS to move toward reunification plans. They took the boys to weekly visitations and therapy as well as attended child and family team meetings. The boy’s behaviors continued to be challenging as they worked through their issues.

The boys all began to adapt to their new schedules, environments and to their foster family. The Parks continued to work with the child and family team toward reunification for approximately one year before the plan was changed to adoption. This decision came as a result of the birth family failing to comply with court orders to prepare for the reunification of the children. (parenting classes, stable employment, appropriate home, etc.)  The Parks desperately wanted to adopt the three children. They were very connected to the children after more than a year of living together as a family. The Park’s understood the children could have issues throughout their lives, but they were committed to caring for the children and taking life one day at a time.

The boys were adopted by their first and only foster parents. They have made remarkable progress and have truly been a blessing to their parents. Evan now has a great personality and positive self esteem. He no longer hoards food as he knows he will always be fed.  He has learned to be a child and to let his parents care for his younger siblings. His teachers have nicknamed him Smiley because he smiles all the time! At Thanksgiving the teacher told the students to write down what they were thankful for he wrote “I am thankful for a family and a bed and hot water and a clean house and food to eat.”

Frank still has some trust issues especially with men. He has learned to express himself verbally and now gets along well with his brothers.  His teachers say academically he is at the top of his class and they all state he is a very kind hearted and loving boy. He has had the most drastic change out of all three. The family has been amazed with Frank’s progress.

David now goes to sleep easily and sleeps through the night. He is a sweet, lovable child. He occasionally wakes us up laughing in his sleep. He has started Kindergarten and his teachers say he is doing wonderful. He has many friends. His teacher says he is so comical and at times tries to be the class clown.  He is a very happy and loving child.